Parents are constantly on their toes, tackling multiple tasks at once—from preparing nutritious meals for their children to helping with their homework and attending school events. But beyond these responsibilities, parents also need to inculcate the right values in children and set examples they can follow. The best way to start is by understanding what mistakes parents usually make and then taking conscious steps to avoid these mistakes while raising their children:
1. Ignoring burnoutAs a parent, one may forget to take breaks amid their busy schedules, but it is important to rest well and care for oneself to avoid burnout. Going on brief vacations and taking a few “parents-only” outings can help one unwind and feel better.
2. Being too strict or too lenient
Either of these things may not be ideal because when a parent is too strict, the child feels restricted and anxious, but if children are overly pampered, they may become spoiled and disobedient. Ideally, parents should be firm but not too strict, assertive but not aggressive with their children so that they can teach the expected behaviors in different situations without making children feel anxious or unsettled. For example, if a child insists on watching TV before completing homework, parents can consider not letting the child indulge before finishing the assigned work, but they should not restrict the child once the work is done.
3. Limiting emotional expression
If preoccupied with other parenting chores, parents may sometimes find it difficult to handle their children’s emotional outbursts, so they may ask the child to stop crying and dismiss what may seem like unimportant issues. But these issues could be important to the child, so one should allow the child to express how they feel. Giving them this space makes them feel safe and heard. Sometimes, jumping to a conclusion about the issue may also not be the best option, and lending an empathetic ear may suffice.
4. Comparing children
One of the most common mistakes a parent can make is to compare their child to other children over any milestone. This can affect the child’s confidence and self-esteem. Also, the child may feel that their parents adore other children more, which can give way to feelings of insecurity.
5. Expecting too much
Children may feel pressured when their parents expect too much from them—more than what is fair to expect. At times, they may even resort to lying if they are afraid of not being seen as good enough. So, parents should evaluate what is fair to expect from their children and let go of expectations that are unreasonable and unrealistic. For example, it may be fair to expect a child to spend some time in the day studying before watching TV, but it is unrealistic to expect them to get an A grade in all their class assignments. However, this can vary from child to child, so parents should take a call accordingly.
